lol. Dragon Killing comes in three phases, or as our brethren from Spain call them Los Tres Fases de Dragon Asesinato 1. Avoid like hell It was just last week that you escaped Helgen. Now there is some talk about you being "Dragonborn" or something. You aren't cut out for this. You barely killed that dragon at Whiterun, even though you had help from 6 other guards; and thank god they had bows and arrows, right? You see a dragon, you run like hell. You avoid the wilderness when you can, run the opposite way at the sight of one of those scaly bastards, and pray to Akatosh that Lydia can take another hit from that dragon. This is, for the most part, successful. 2. "There can be only one" -Christopher Lambert So maybe being the Dragonborn isn't all that bad. I mean, walking into your local tavern definitely has it's perks when you are some mythical dragon slayer. But occasionally, you have to prove your worth. Thankfully, you are way more prepared than you were a few weeks ago. I mean, look back at how you ran like a pussy. Oh my, look how much you've matured. Still, killing Dragons is no simple means. You face them head on, yeah, but you know when to heal, take cover, and to no go for the head. A couple of close calls, near deaths, and some pretty epic battles pepper your epic story. And after killing these frightening behemoths you get to ravage their body for bones and scales, dreaming of the day you can make a set of dragon armor. The immediate satisfaction of a dragon soul to add to your collection is enough for now. I say, these are the fights you'll be drunkingly recalling while you try to pick up wenches from the Gray Mare. 3. http://images.cheezb...ac443173c99.jpg Guards tell you to not shout in the streets. Who gives a shit, you are the fucking Dovakiin. NPC's show blatant disgust when you sprint into them. Who gives a shit, you are the fucking Dovakiin. You've seen the world, mastered in skills, and killed oh so many things. Oh, the death you have slung. You look back a few months ago where killing dragons was an exciting challenge. Fuck that. Thanks to your hours of potion making and smithing, you can just blunder dragons to death with your mace with just a few hits. You start handicapping yourself, taking off some armor before waking up the fiery faggot, and still killing it without any problem. You actively seek them out just to try to sneak up on one and one hit killing it. And when you learn Dragonrend, oh fuck it all. They try to take off and run away, but just yell in their general direction. And after all this pointless bloodshed, what do you gain. Well there are some bones and scales I guess BUT WHO CARES YOU ARE RICH AS HELL. I guess you have them souls. Souls are good for Dragonshouts, BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL THE SHOUTS YOU WANT. You are the cream of the crop. End your dragon slaying career and start breeding. And that is why I think I'm a good lover.