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#1
APOLLYON

APOLLYON

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Wild Animals/Do penguins exist?

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Expert: Dyan deNapoli - 12/1/2012

Question I was hoping you could resolve a dispute between myself and my ex-girlfriend. She says that penguins are a genuine living creature, but I have been told that they are a mythical half bird half fish invented by an advertising company to sell chocolate bars. On the grounds that birds can fly, while penguins can't, but they can swim, like fish, I feel that logic is on my side but my ex won't accept this, claiming that she has seen penguins at the zoo (I believe this may be false memory, or possibly the use of animatronic puppets to perpetuate the myth). So, quite simply, do penguins really exist? Answer Dear Danny, While you submit a compelling argument for the nonexistence of penguins, I must inform you that your ex-girlfriend is correct in this case. I'm afraid she wins this one, flippers down. As an addendum, might I suggest that, using the same logic, a better question may be whether or not your ex-girlfriend really exists. You have implied that she is a genuine, living creature; however a little birdie (could've been a penguin) informed me that she's really a mythical creature invented by a conglomeration of advertising companies to sell beer and shiny red sports cars. It's possible that your ex may actually be the false memory here, or perhaps the use of an inflatable...well, you know...to perpetuate the illusion of having an actual girlfriend. In which case, we would have a false memory having a possible false memory, which is some sort of weird double negative that I imagine can only happen in an alternate universe. My guess is that they would then cancel each other out, making your question moot. So, in summation, to get a more lucid answer to the question behind your question, I might suggest you resubmit it to an expert who's well versed in philosophy or mythology, or perhaps quantum physics. Maybe one of these experts could be of more help here. Or maybe they don't exist either... Good luck to you! Dyan

 

http://en.allexperts...guins-exist.htm



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#2
David

David

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Wait... Penguins are real?



#3
Brad

Brad

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P p p PICK UP A PENGUIN!!

#4
Blake

Blake

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I don't know where to begin.

 

My girlfriends are imaginary too.

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#5
Nathan

Nathan

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Lol. If the guy asking the question was serious then that's worse than the widespread belief that polar bears eat penguins (which would be very difficult since they live on opposite sides of the world), it always pisses me off around this time of year when I see penguins on Christmas stuff.The response is awesome though.

#6
Eric the Bard

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Lol. If the guy asking the question was serious then that's worse than the widespread belief that polar bears eat penguins (which would be very difficult since they live on opposite sides of the world), it always pisses me off around this time of year when I see penguins on Christmas stuff.The response is awesome though.

How do you know a polar bear wouldn't eat a penguin if he got his hands on one?

#7
Nathan

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How do you know a polar bear wouldn't eat a penguin if he got his hands on one?

I'm not doubting that (although its actually more likely to go WTF is that, maybe kill it if it gets to close but not eat it since its never seen anything like it and it wouldn't provide enough sustenance anyway), I'm just saying its not part of there natural diets, and it would only really happen in rare instances in captivity (ie polar bears and penguins escape at the same time and cross paths at some point at which the bear for some reason sees the penguin as a better food source than the various alternatives such as humans and also sees eating the penguin as more of a priority than escaping from the humans trying to contain them).Just like if I was forced to hunt my own food I wouldn't go "hmm...I feel like polar bear, I'll swim all the way to the north pole eat one and then swim back" (not just because I know I would die several times) I'd be far more likely to go "Oh, theres a Kangaroo I'll eat that" (and I would still die XD)

#8
Brad

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Let's look at this scientifically. If I was a polar bear, I'd want to eat a penguin.There problem solved

#9
Blake

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I imagine penguins would taste like both chicken and fish.

 

Chicken of the sea.



#10
Eric the Bard

Eric the Bard

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I imagine penguins would taste like both chicken and fish.Chicken of the sea.

Fact: Their arms are actually fish.

#11
APOLLYON

APOLLYON

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lol






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