Let's meet the team, shall we?
Origin: Boston, USA
Quote: Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people
Description: The youngest of eight boys from the south side of Boston, the Scout learned early how to solve problems with his fists. With seven older brothers on his side, fights tended to end before the runt of the litter could maneuver into punching distance, so the Scout trained himself to run. He ran everywhere, all the time, until he could beat his pack of mad dog siblings to the fray.
Job: Moving 33% faster than any class, Scouts will be leading the offense, out running and maneuvering the enemy with speed and double jumps. He'll be especially useful at capturing the intel, control points, or just causing general mayhem.
Origin: Mid-West, USA
Quote: If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!... ." Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it!
Description: Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War 2, the Soldier was rejected from every branch of the U.S. military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself. His rampage ended immediately upon hearing about the end of the war in 1949.
Job: One of your leading offenders. Will dominate the battlefield with his rocket launcher, using the explosion splash to damage opponents easily. The ability to equip banners will make him a huge asset to the team.
Quote: Mpphhh mphh mphhhh mphhh mhh!
Description: Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: he sets things on fire and he doesn't speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos-lined suit. Either way, he's a fearsome, inscrutable, on-fire Frankenstein of a man - if he even is a man.
Job: Powerhouse offense. Deadly at close range, using his flamethrower to deal constant damage at anybody within reach while dealing burn damage for seconds afterwards. Can finish off anybody with a secondary weapon at a distance. Also plays a good defense.
Role: Demo Man
Origin: Ullapool, Scotland
Quote: T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cock-sure, prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable, with an unhappy bloody end!
Decription: A fierce temper, a fascination with all things explosive, and a terrible plan to kill the Loch Ness Monster cost the six year old Demoman his original set of adoptive parents. Later, at the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans near Ullapool in the Scottish Highlands, the boy's bomb-making skills improved dramatically. His disposition and total number of intact eyeballs, however, did not. Word of his proficiency with explosives spread, and it was not long before Crypt Grammar received two visitors; the Demoman's real parents, who lovingly explained that all Demomen are abandoned at birth until their skills manifest themselves, a long-standing, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men. His unhappy childhood had ended, but his training had just begun.
Job: Can set up remote sticky bombs for defending specific points, such as your intel, control points, or just your team mates. Can use his grenade launcher to be a decent offensive player as well. Tie that in with his superior melee weapons and the option to equip a shield for charging, and he can be a valuable team player.
Origin: Khabarovsk Krai, USSR
Quote: Some people think they can outsmart me - maybe *sniff* maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.
Description: Like a hibernating bear, the Heavy appears to be a gentle giant. Also like a bear, confusing his deliberate, sleepy demeanor with gentleness will get you ripped limb from limb. Though he speaks simply and moves with an economy of energy that's often confused with napping, the Heavy isn't dumb; he's not your big friend and he generally wishes you'd just shut up before he has to make you shut up.
Job: Mini gun can make short work of anybody. Can play the offensive role, but is very effective guarding specific points. Although he's the slowest class, his immense health and fire power is a force to be reckoned with.
Origin: Texas, USA
Quote: Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer — that means I solve problems. Not problems like 'What is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems.
Description: This amiable, soft-spoken good ol' boy from tiny Bee Cave, Texas loves barbecues, guns, and higher education. Natural curiosity, ten years as a roughneck in the west Texas oilfields, and eleven hard science PhDs have trained him to design, build and repair a variety of deadly contraptions.
Job: The ultimate defensive class. Can build and upgrade a sentry, which supplies unmatched firepower for an impressive distance. Can also build teleports and transport teams to the front lines and dispensers to supply ammo and health. Truly a game changer.
Origin: Stuttgart, Germany
Quote: Let's go practice medicine
Description: What he lacks in compassion for the sick, respect for human dignity, and any sort of verifiable formal training in medicine, the Medic more than makes up for with a bottomless supply of giant needles and a trembling enthusiasm for plunging them into exposed flesh. Raised in Stuttgart, Germany during an era when the Hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion, the Medic considers healing a generally unintended side effect of satisfying his own morbid curiosity.
Job: As his name suggests, he's the Medic. Will supply healing and a health buff when in the midst of all the gun fire and explosions. When healing long enough, can activate invulnerability on himself and his target for a short time. Also carries a saw and needle gun for a quick fight.
Origin: Australia, Australia
Quote: Snipin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry, cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.
Description: In his former life as a tracker of dangerous game in the unforgiving Australian outback, the Sniper would spend months by himself. Prolonged isolation taught him a valuable lesson: You don't have to rely on other people if you never miss.
Job: Although his health leaves something to be desired, he'll be a valuable support class, defending wide open areas from the enemy. Able to head-shot enemies for a one hit kill every time. A skilled Sniper is sure to annoy you to no end. He is also the only class that can throw jars of piss at the enemy. Yeah.
Quote: Right behind you
Description: He is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska, and LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! but it is too late. You're dead. For he is the Spy - globetrotting rogue, lady killer (metaphorically) and mankiller (for real).
Job: If you prefer to outsmart the enemy, maybe the Spy is for you. Able to disguise as any other player, either on the other team or your own team. Can also turn invisible or fake is own death to throw off the other team. Can use his butterfly knife to backstab an enemy, instantly killing them. Finally, is able to sap an Engineer's sentries, dispensers, or teleporters, making the Spy a huge asset to any team.
Ahh, beautiful group of individuals, no? Now, what exactly do you do on Team Fortress 2. As it is largely a team based game, you'll have to work together to play any of the wide variety of games. No one class rules supreme, so expect to share the labor and actually plan out your attacks. You can play games such as...
Capture the Intel: Think Capture the Flag, but with a suitcase
King of the Hill: Self explanatory
Control Points: One team defends, the other attacks. Try to hold out or dominate the enemy.
Arena: Two teams of 3+. Kill the other team.
Payload: Push the cart to the finish. The other team will be killing you.
Deathmatch: Just kill. No goal. Perfect for perfecting your game.
And while you play these games, you can also receive random rewards such as new weapons, gear, hats, and more. Has a pretty cool crafting system to boot. Lastly, this game has been out for years and is still regularly updated with new weapons, gear, and more.
So there you have it. The only sensible reason to not play this game is because you don't want to play with me. I realistically hope to recruit at least one player. If I don't, at least enjoy reading this.