Blast Corps. The Bane of My Childhood
So, about 2 weeks ago I was rummaging around for a good n64 to play. It wasnt long before I came across... this.
I remember first seeing the game being reviewed on G4 at an early age, (This was after i discovered there was an entire channel dedicated to video games, you cannot imagine how ecstatic i was. my childhood was videogames.) The thought of a game entirely dedicated to blowing shit up intrigued me, the chance to drive around in a giant robot and/or bulldozer and destroy structures was too tempting to resist. the very next day I bought the game, and popped that puppy in the N64.
So, if you've bought used N64 games before, you know that you're not going to find an empty save file. They're all taken. But who cares? I didnt care. I just wanted to blow shit up, so I selected the complete file and jumped right in.
(Chances are you've also experienced this a few times if you've bought used games)
So, I wind up staring at the earth. There are about 30 different areas on this map that I can go, and blow up. I select the closest place to my house on the map, and start it up. I found myself in the middle of a level.
I immediately cant figure out what to do. I mean, i'm a bulldozer but thats about all I can figure out. I've got someone yelling at me in the corner to clear the way for a carrier, who is slowly progressing through the streets. (Ok, you know your city has zoning issues when buildings become street obstructions.)
First thought? Well, go run into shit. I'm a bulldozer. No, not that simple. Not at all. I ran into the first building and bounced off. Its a problem when you can figure out how to blow something up, in a game dedicated to blowing something up. See, there are also 5 other vehicles scattered through this map, each of them dedicated to something, but no explanation. you can jump out of your vehicle, and run into another one. My guess is they were each dedicated to destroying certain buildings or something. idk.
So, anyways. I began to rage. I couldnt figure out anything, and I like to think i was pretty bright at that age. I mean i beat just about every other n64 game there was out there, except this one. no, this one was the bane of my childhood. I could never figure it out, never. The poorly marked objectives just had me running around driving and trying out all the vehicles, but never getting anywhere. Every now and then i was able to destroy a building, and my heart would flutter just a little. but then i'd be stuck again.
I decided to pick up the game and give it another go a few weeks ago, to see if i could figure it out at this age... Not so much. Still confused. still clueless. At one point i was put into a race as a motorcycle, racing a tricked out hotrod in a figure 8. Wut. When did this turn into a racing game? idk. either way, it found its rightful place back in my game drawer. One day I'll figure it out... one day.