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Quest 64: Why Did My Parents Hate Me?

Posted by Blake, 06 April 2012 · 15,385 views

Obligatory First Entry Stuff

My name is Blake Rodriguez. I'm currently majoring in Criminology at NC State and live in an apartment in Raleigh. Half Puerto Rican, 3 sisters, been involved with David's online triumphs and downfalls for 3 years and counting, yada yada. Now that that is out of the way, on to the blog. Plan on writing on a wide variety of things I think of: game reviews, random list, semi-hilarious articles, and maybe a little bit of insight on my life. Sharing my wisdom with the world while all the while providing hilarity to the common man and exploiting the newly discovered horizontal rule.

Quest 64: Revisited

Between the raining and surprisingly cool weather, the fact I'm stuck at my parent's house alone during the day, and a 7+ paper on a movie slowly sneaking up on me, half of my Easter break was looking to be a bore. I decided to download and try to beat one of the hardest games I had when I was a kid: Quest 64. Besides it being a horrible, ball-bustingly hard RPG, my mother made a mistake in its purchase.

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Damnit Mom, you have to read the back of the box!


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If only you knew the first steps to hours of raging is beyond this gate.

The creators of Quest 64 didn't spare any material when it comes to story. It takes place in the magical, monster infested, lawless land of Hard-To-Pronounce-Land. A thief stole some powerful book. Brian's father went to get it back and hasn't come back. You play Brian, some wizard who master elements, in hopes of finding your father, defeating the thief, and getting back the book. All the while, you are tracking down four other thieves who each stole some powerful orb from each major city. Sure it is horribly unoriginal, but it was 1998. We fell in love with The Waterboy and The Parent Trap: what the hell do we know?

RPG and Video Game Elements
This being one of the first, big RPG's for the Nintendo 64, THQ tried what I hope isn't their hardest to make it one of the best. And they did do some things great. The actual world of Good-Luck-Pronouncing-This-Land is huge with occasional houses peppering the landscape, although a bit linear. While you have a lot of area to walk around and explore, there is an obvious path leading you from town to town. The music is also pretty catchy too, although after hours of raging, this isn't a good thing. And of course, the graphics are nice for it's day and age.

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I should just keep on walking.

Sadly that is all THQ did good with this game. First of all, there is no money system in this game, which is really unusual for an RPG. So you may be asking, how do you get food and potions to keep you alive? One of two ways: you either find it or people just give it away for free. Both of these are problematic. Once you find supplies, they obviously can't be found again, so if you were to waste them because you didn't pick up on the combat's steep learning curve, then you are screwed. This is countered a bit by civilians giving you free food and what not, but they refuse to give you an extra of any item you already have. Found a loaf of bread while walking to town? The baker denies you your free sample. It's nice, and somewhat realistic, of the civilians to supply the savior of the world with supplies, but when they have a hard time parting with dew drops, it really is pointless. Besides this horrible detail, the actual leveling up is confusing and the most grinding process I've ever messed with. I'd explain it to you, but even I don't understand it. In addition to that, its dying mechanic is really messed up. Upon the inevitable death, you are transported to the last inn you saved in and you keep your stat increases and items you gained and lose items you used up. While this makes you stronger the next time you enter whatever area you died in, the loss of items you had and the inability to buy more items is going to ensure your death again.

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In case you aren't familiar with your Quest 64 beastiary, I'm fucked.

Originally had this with the other bad things, but I couldn't sum up its awfulness and do it justice. Quest 64's combat is a mixture between turn based strategy and live action fighting. That is what some website said anyway. What you will actually experience is turn based strategy and the almost guaranteed fail dodge attempt.
Pairing that with how fragile Brian is and you'll be dying. A lot. How about the combat that you do? Maybe that balances out how weak you are. Well it doesn't. On each level up, you get to raise either fire, water, wind, or earth. You can even combine these spells into useful effects, like a water spell that heals you or an earth spell that raises defense. Besides the fact these spells are useless for practical use (a healing spell that heals 5 isn't much good when you are being hit with 7's constantly), they drain your magic ridiculously fast, so you'll find yourself either drinking magic potions (good luck getting those), or hitting things with your stick. The game depends on too much grinding to really be worth it. I couldn't beat the first boss and don't plan on playing this ever again.

Final Remarks
My mom buying me games for Christmas was the result of some pretty bad childhood memories; I'm looking at you Yoshi Story. I remember being bummed out I couldn't get far in the game because I couldn't save it. Thank god I missed out on this train wreck of an experience. The only thing this game did for me is make me appreciate the upcoming beach weekend. So take that THQ. I hope this review affects your sells on a game made 14 years ago.

I read the beginning skipped ahead read little skipped ahead... wheres the part bout ur parents hating u, i was gonna make a remark bout abortions but i dnt feel lyk reading nd dnt kno if it wud fit.
The answer is in the blog.
I had never heard of that game. y u no download FF7 and play a real classic?

But yeah, I have had my own fair share of bad Christmas video games...
  • Some motorcycle game for the PS2 that was literally unopened for 4+ years until I felt bad and played it for 10mins.
  • Two of the same Pokemon games.
  • Things involving popular culture TV shows, such as Scooby Doo/Spongebob/etc.
But now I look back on those days and miss them... I only get a few clothes for Christmas now, and my life is going to be work from here on out. Lame.
Oh, and isn't the horizontal rule fantastic? Yw.
i remem getting shitloads of games bb guns pokemon cards lol, now its a shirt a jacket pants myb if im lucky a watch or ring. Ahh i miss being a kid
Yeah I figured I only have like 4 or 3 good Christmas left, which is mildly depressing.

Horizontal rule is the best.
Suck up as much as you can to your aunts/uncles/grandparents. Enjoy em while you still can

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