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8 More Sites You'd Be Better Off Without

Blake

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Blake Newbie

Blake

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For some reason, my 8 Sites That Probably Aren't Worth Your Time article received a fair bit of attention and praise. Why that is, I'm not entirely certain. Most of the websites only entertained for a few minutes. Except He Man. Good God, I could listen to him for hours. But I digress. It has been awhile since I wrote that article, so I bet you are all bored with those 8 websites. Worry not, unfortunate Elder Souls lurker. Here are 8 More Sites You'd Be Better Off Without... And you only had to wait 11 months.

Pointer Pointer

Sometimes, writing articles for Elder Souls in the comfort of my apartment on a Friday night when all 3 of my room mates have left for hours can get a bit lonely. Naturally, somebody in my position needs a little human connection. Or at least, some interaction. And this is where Pointer Pointer...eh...kind of succeeds. Simply lay your mouse pointer anywhere on the screen, give the website a few seconds to work its magic, and it'll come up with a photo of somebody pointing to your mouse. Who needs friends when you have random strangers taking selfies while pointing to your mouse. I think our forefathers would be proud at what today's technology can accomplish.

Akinator, the Web Genius

You are familiar with the game 20Q, yes? I'll assume you said no so I can explain anyway. Basically, you pick any object you want, answer the yes/no/maybe questions 20Q asks you, then it'll try to guess what you were thinking of. Basic and fun concept, but what if that was possible with people instead of objects? Well, that is what Akinator is all about. Simply pick any person, either real or fake, and Akinator will guess it; sometimes in 20 questions, sometimes less. Since its release, however, the creators of Akinator have made the original, no limits version of this game only available via smartphone or tablet purchase. You can still go a few free rounds everyday with Akinator though, so it isn't a complete money grub.

Posted Image

Ever since David passed me in likes,

I've had to exert my manliness in other ways

Penis Analyzer

(Was really debating whether or not to include this one, but immaturity got the best of me. Story of my life.)

Now time for a website for the ladies. That's right. I know how many of you browse Elder Souls. I also know the common dilemma you face: how do you what a guy is packing without actually making a move to see for yourself?

Don't worry; we got you covered! Simply type the name of the lucky (or unlucky) male into the website, hit analyze, and it'll give you a full page of statistics and images on what his penis probably looks like. That Charlie in your Math class? Maybe you shouldn't be so friendly with him anymore. Greg in apartment 324 has potential though. Honestly, I have no idea where they get the data. It is extremely likely they just make it up. However, that won't stop you from checking yourself out, now will it?

Map Crunch

Google has recently celebrated its 15th birthday. Over the span of those 15 years, they have really expanded their business to cover a wide field of services, including Google Maps. And with that, Map Crunch was created. Basically click on it and it'll take you to a random street view.

What is that? A random street view isn't really "exciting?" Well that's because you aren't playing The Airport Game. Created on 4chan's /v/ boards, the unofficial game for this website is simple.

[*]Check the "Stealth" box on the menu to the right

[*]Hit "Go"

[*]Use your expert navigation skills to find an airport

[*]Bonus points if you can guess where you are at.

Note this game can and will last for hours. And you have the patience for that, right? Who wouldn't want to play an unofficial game for hours on end for no real benefit what so ever?

Cookie Clicker

If you are reading this article, chances are you are procrastinating. Maybe it is school. Maybe work. Maybe just life in general. If only there was a way to get your internet fix while doing whatever it is you should be doing. Well if the term 'internet fix" means "collecting a large amount of cookies" then I've got just what you need. An updated version of the classic internet clicking game, Cookie Clicker has a very simple premise. You click the big cookie, you get a cookie. You use cookies to buy means to mass produce cookies. A bit slow at first, but once you get a sweatshop of Grandmas working for you and a few Cookie Factories, simply run the website in the background as you create a vast and all powerful cookie empire.

RunPee

Sometimes the internet just isn't enough to keep us entertained for hours on end. Sometimes, we need to gather in dark rooms with a bunch of other noisy strangers, pay ridiculously high prices for food, and watch an average movie for 2 hours, not caring that you'll be blind for the next 30 minutes after the movie once you step outside.

Indeed, going to the movies can be a fun night out with your friends. However, what if the inevitable happens. You are watching a decent movie, when all of a sudden, you have to pee. And really bad. Like, overfilling a water balloon bad. And of course you don't want to miss the movie. So do you take the risk of missing out on a glorious scene or do you contribute to the already sticky and wet floor?

Or maybe, you can go to RunPee. The idea is simple, yet ingenious. Enter the name of the movie you are watching, and the website will tell you when is the best times to leave and go to the bathroom. Includes a summary of things you missed, how long the pointless scenes last, and indicators of when the scene is approaching.

Salty Bet

We all have our weaknesses. Mine is laziness and procrastination. Some people have a thing for anime women. Others are gamblers. For that last group, I have a quick fix them...

Have you ever heard of M.U.G.E.N? It is a 2D freeware fighting game creator. After downloading it, simply pick what stadiums you want and what fighters you want to create your own fighting game. And with thousands of people creating stadiums and fighters, the possibilities are endless. With this in mind, we have Salty Bet, probably the best website on this list. The website streams 24 hour footage of M.U.G.E.N, usually controlled by AI, sometimes by actual people though. After creating an account, which is extremely painless, you can actually bet on who you think will win each fight. With a huge variety of characters, an extremely hilarious chat, and the occasional glitch that may just change a whole fight, this website has the most potential to stay on your bookmark tab.

The Useless Web

Let's face it. I won't be around here forever to give you guys websites. That is really good news for me, but I understand sometimes you need your 5 minutes of distraction every one in awhile. So here is the final gem in this list that will hopefully hold you over between year long absences of lists. Basically, this website is this article. Just click the button and you'll be transported to one of the many "useless" websites on its list. You might even see a few of the ones I've mentioned on either this or my last article. I realize that by sharing this link though, I pretty much gave up my job to a computer. I've become the robot creator who built the robot that creates other robots.

And there you have it. 8 more websites that you didn't really need to know about. See you guys in 11 more months.

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David Newbie

David

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That's already included at the top as a reference to the last list, except it's my less spammy version.

 

 

....

 

My less spammy version... Which I now see is pointless to keep running. Mother of God, that is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

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Blake Newbie

Blake

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http://www.boredbutton.com is quite nice.

 

Anyways, I can't seem to place a bet on salty bets.

Gotta sign up for an account. Sign in. Wait for the announcer to tell you to bet. Type in your amount and bet it on Player 1 or 2. Proft. Or loss.

 

Saw that you were comparing our fake internet penises. Panicked about what would happen to my fake e-rep. Discovered that you "beat" me by ~1 inch... While I have about 6 times the girth.

All about that ability baby. The ladies will be 7% more satisfied with me.

 

Will probably add more pictures when I'm done being fucking lazy.

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